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Social media is part of my job and I enjoy it very much (most days). I have friends that don't have a Facebook account. When asked why they don't they usually say to much drama for them or it's a waste of time and they are too busy. I am thankful for my Facebook accounts not only because it allows me to connect with and share posts with my fans but a couple months ago it helped my personal life. Because of Facebook I can now communicate with my older half sister! We have the same dad (I call him my sperm donor because he was never a dad/father to me).
Her sister is friends with my sister and I commented on a Facebook photo or left a comment or something and it was noticed that my maiden name was the same as my half sister. I will be 30 this summer and I had never talked to or met my half sister. I knew she existed but didn't know how to reach out to try and find her. Turns out because of Facebook and friends of friends she found me. She shared part of her past with me about her connection with our sperm donor of a father. She was hoping I had a better connection with him so she could let him know that he was a grandfather. I had the disappointment of informing her that I had not spoken to our dad since I was pregnant with my oldest boy 9 years ago. He didn't care then and pretty sure he doesn't care now.
I found out that my grandmother on my dad's side passed away by seeing the obituary in the newspaper. All of her children and grandchildren were listed under family except for my half sister and myself. It hurt. It hurt way more than I thought it ever would. I knew that that side of the family acted like we didn't exist and I guess seeing it in print proved what I thought. For the longest time I felt like I wasn't good enough to be loved by my biological father and his family. As I grew up I realized it wasn't me.
I told my half sister about what few family members I knew about as she was wanting to know of some of our family tree history. Not that any of those tree branches cares about either of us but it felt important for the two of us to know where we came from, whether we were accepted and acknowledged or not. I congratulated my half sister on the arrival of her first child, a little girl that was born 3 months early and is now home with mommy. We chatted on Facebook and exchanged phone numbers. I hope to make plans soon to meet up (we live in different states) so we can get to know one another even better. I'd love to see my niece and for her to meet her nephews.
Do I wish I had a different upbringing? No. I had a more than wonderful mother (and all of her family) who did a great job being both mom and dad to me for years and then she married my step dad and he loved me even though I wasn't genetically his. I didn't miss out on anything. Some people aren't meant to be parents and my sperm donor is one of those people. He could help bring babies in to this world but once they were here we didn't exist to him. I for one can honestly say I am better off without him. In the few visits I was allowed with him as a young girl I saw with my own eyes and experienced the heartache from his lies and no show visitation days and 0 child support. My mom never had a bad word to say about him but I learned myself just who he really was.
May my half sister and I be a better parent than our biological father ever was.
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